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 Defending Families Against Forced No-Fault Divorce
Bishop Pilla's Imprimatur, Guilt from religious setting should be 'shoved aside'

The Bishop of the diocese of Cleveland, Most Rev. Anthony Pilla, has given an Imprimatur to fifty-nine page book, Unlocking the Healing Power of Catholic Annulment, by Dennis and Kay Flowers, copyright 1996.  The book is sold by the publisher/author Dennis Flowers P.O. Box 21, Westfield Center, OH 44251.

A ninety-six page book with a similar name by the same authors is distributed by North American Conference of Separated and Divorced Catholics Inc. (NACSDC). NACSDC, which is recognized by USCCB and listed in The Official Catholic Directory, is a nonprofit 501(c)(3)corporation which, among other things, advertises and sells educational materials through its catalogue and website. NACSDC has an annulment Catholic book section which sells only four books. The first book is Catholic Annulment: Spiritual Healing by Dennis and Kay Flowers. The book's description states, "The authors address a variety of basic mental, emotional, and spiritual factors in the process of healing the pain of divorce and broken relationships.  The focus is broad, from looking inward to letting Geo. The approach is caring, informative, non-critical, and easy to read—a practical guide in the healing process."

Excerpts from Unlocking the Healing Power of Catholic Annulment by Flowers, ©1996
When viewed as a binding covenant that is indissoluble, marriage within the Catholic Church becomes a matter not to be taken lightly. In a contract, or covenant, marriage, both spouses have to be willing right from the start to serve each other and God. To look after each other's needs first, to be willing to work out conflicts and talk over grievances, to allow God to work in themselves and in the marriage, and to be open to life and children so as to raise them Christian by example, deed, and instruction. This is what the Tribunal looks for when an annulment is sought; was this "content" ever present in the marriage? If there was no "content," can it be said that the marriage was a loving, binding contract, as God intended?

In other words, couples who feel called of God to have a permanent, indissoluble marriage covenant will need the free flowing grace of God in their lives in order to make their marriage sacramental in nature. They should be able to say that, of their own free wills, they are making a covenant before God to love, honor, cherish, obey and be faithful to each other until death — no matter what happens.

Willingly, they agree to place each other's needs and the needs of their family before their own, to try to resolve conflicts, to support and help their spouse's relationship with Christ; in short, they are promising to love each other with God's sacrificial, unconditional love. ('Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, bearing with one another and forgiving one another. . . as the Lord has forgiven you, so must you also do. And over all these put on love. . . let the peace of Christ control our hearts."  Col. 3:12-15).

Such a covenant before God is a sacrament and indissoluble, as stated in Mark 10:9. In the sight of God, and with His blessings, the Catholic Church joyously joins the bride and groom who come to the altar with these loving intentions.

But suppose a bride or groom (or both) comes to the wedding altar with less permanent, less caring intentions, either conscious or subconscious. Already, that marriage harbors pre-existing conditions that can prevent the couple from making a binding commitment. Such a seriously flawed marriage does not have the proper foundation to be sacramental in nature."(pg 9)

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Many times past guilt is simply a "learned" behavior, an attitude that has been laid on you by well-meaning friends, a strict religious setting, or even your own parents.  This kind of guilt is best recognized and set aside; it has no place in true inner emotional healing.

Actual, beneficial guilt, on the other hand, builds conscience and character by allowing you to view your problems through the viewpoint of someone else, thereby keeping their concerns on the same level as your own.  The Holy Spirit may be nudging your conscience that you need to make something right or ask someone's forgiveness in order to alleviate your real guilt. (pg. 42)

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If you have asked forgiveness and make the restitution needed and yet still don't feel forgiven, consider that God understands your heart (I John 3:18-20) and He alone can see the entire picture from the standpoint of eternity.  He knows your true intentions and He knows that you have tried to make things right, as far as you honestly can.

If your guilt and self beratement are still so great that they overshadow God's truths about His forgiveness and His love and concern for you, then do one thing more — and this is another tough decision.

Shove your feelings and your negative emotions aside and deal with your free will, that part of you that was also created in God's image.  Take God at His Word, trust that what He says is true, and choose to believe you have been forgiven, whether you feel like it or not. (pg. 45)