Request to Priest: Teach Faith to Abandoner

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a letter to the pastor of an abandoning Catholic spouse. The abandoned spouse, in this case, corresponded earlier with the pastor and is copying the below letter to the diocese Bishop and Promoter of Justice.

This webpabe links to original sources cited while the letter to the priest was mailed with no attachments and, obvioulsy, no links.

This letter was written from a non-custodial mother's perspective, and could be used from a non-custodial father's perspective if the church teaching about the importance of fathers was substituted for the quotes about mothers.

Letters

Cover letter to Bishop
Your Excellency,

I am sharing with you the letter I just wrote to Fr. xxx, my husband's pastor at Saint xxx Parish in xxx. This letter is also copied to our diocesan Promoter of Justice.

If this situation develops further, I will keep you advised.

Sincerely,
Cover letter to Diocese Promoter of Justice
I am sharing with you the letter I just wrote to Fr. xxx, my husband's pastor at Saint xxx Parish in xxx. This letter is also copied to Bishop xxx.

[My husband is publicly professing to be a loyal Catholic.]

If this situation develops further, I will keep you advised.

Sincerely,
Letter to Pastor of Abandoning Spouse

Fr. xxx
St. xxx Catholic Church

Dear Fr. xxx,

I am asking you to exercise your responsibility to satisfy the right of the faithful to receive Church teaching (can. 794).

My husband who abandons our marriage and forcibly separates our children from their mother continuously gravely wounds my children and me. From my children and my perspective, their father has abducted our children from me. These are violations of justice and are to be punished, if not corrected (can. 1397).

Please teach my husband, named, that he is to observe his promise to "bring [our children] up according to the law of Christ and his Church" (Rite of Marriage sec 59).

Husband's address.

You "are obliged to ensure that [your] church community provides for Christ's faithful the assistance by which the married state is preserved in its Christian character and develops in perfection. This assistance is to be given principally" [...] "by the help given to those who have entered marriage, so that by faithfully observing and protecting their conjugal covenant, they may day by day achieve a holier and a fuller family life" (can. 1063).

I ask you to teach my husband that he is obligated to maintain a common household with me for our children unless a lawful reason excuses him (can. 1051). Our children know that no moral reason ever existed for forcing them to leave their home with me; and so do others. Please advise my husband that, "the common conjugal life is to be restored, unless otherwise provided by ecclesiastical authority" (can. 1153 §2). Evidently, you do not have the authority to make this determination and our diocese has established procedures for my husband to approach the ecclesiastical authority, such as "Petition for Separation of Consorts."

Will you help protect our covenant by ensuring that my husband receives instruction regarding his obligation to follow procedural law by obtaining from our bishop permission for our particular circumstance before he could approach a civil court for any civil separation decision (can. 1692)? Even our bishop cannot dispense my husband from his obligations to abide by procedural law (can. 87). The external violation of divine or canon law can be punished (can. 1399).

As divorce is immoral and a grave offense against nature (CCC 2384, 2385), you will also assist our family, if you inform my husband that so long as he persist in daily grave manifest sin, he should deny himself communion. "Anyone who desires to receive Christ in Eucharist communion must be in the state of grace. Anyone aware of having sinned mortally must not receive communion without having received absolution in the sacrament of penance" (CCC 1415). For a sin to be mortal, three conditions must together be met: "Mortal sin is sin whose object is grave matter and which is also committed with full knowledge and deliberate consent" (CCC 1857). Among the penitent's acts contrition occupies first place. Contrition is "sorrow of the soul and detestation for the sin committed, together with the resolution not to sin again" (CCC 1451).

Will you further aid our family to preserve its Christian character by advising my husband of the important role that mothers have in Christ's plan for families?
"The "woman", as mother and first teacher of the human being (education being the spiritual dimension of parenthood), has a specific precedence over the man. Although motherhood, especially in the bio-physical sense, depends upon the man, it places an essential 'mark' on the whole personal growth process of new children" (Mulieris Dignitatem, sec. 19).

"The children, especially the younger among them, need the care of their mother at home. This domestic role of hers must be safely preserved, though the legitimate social progress of women should not be underrated on that account" (Gaudium Et Spes, sec. 52)

"While it must be recognized that women have the same right as men to perform various public functions, society must be structured in such a way that wives and mothers are not in practice compelled to work outside the home, and that their families can live and prosper in a dignified way even when they themselves devote their full time to their own family. Furthermore, the mentality which honors women more for their work outside the home than for their work within the family must be overcome" (Familiaris Consortio, sec. 23).
On behalf of my children, their godparents, and grandparents, I thank you for the actions you can take to satisfy the right of my husband to receive Church teaching, now that these particular concerns have been brought to your attention.

Sincerely,

cc:
Rev. xxx, Promoter of Justice, Diocese of xxx
Most Rev. xxx x, Bishop Diocese of xxx


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