If you don't want your children to be divorced, don't want to be divorced yourself, or suffered because you grew up in a divorced home, you need to keep reading.  I'm a stay-at-home-mom with four children and my husband moved out several months ago.  He has taken legal action to get a divorce.   As I've been learning about my situation, I now have some serious questions and also see some unexplained inconsistencies.  I'm asking the Ohio General Assembly to clarify this confusion ASAP for the hundreds  - or thousands - of people in my situation across the state.  If you share my concerns please copy this webpage to your senator and representative and ask your legislators to answer the questions. (shown in red ?)

My marriage vows are a binding contract.
I'm familiar with the concept of a legally binding contract. If one of the parties fails to perform or deliver on its promises, a breach of contract occurs.  Shouldn't the state enforce this contract and enforce it vehemently?(More)  Couldn't we expect the family law professionals (lawyers and other professionals, like mediators, psychologists, etc.) to protect the best interests of the children, which is for their parents to stay together?

I want to stay married! - but could have mistakenly told the court the opposite.
I don't want to be divorced - I believe we can overcome our problems if given a chance - and I was relieved to learn that my husband has to prove we meet certain grounds, or conditions, in order to get his divorce. In my "answer" to his divorce complaint, I can tell the court that I think he has no legal grounds for divorcing me.   However, I was stunned to learn that if my answer to his divorce complaint, composed by my attorney, even mentioned that we were incompatible, I would have unknowingly just given the court the legal grounds for granting divorce.   Obviously, I don't believe we are incompatible.  Have other people in my position been mislead this way - unknowingly giving the court the legal "green light" to grant a divorce they did not want?

Is the threshold for establishing grounds too low?
Ohio lists eleven grounds, or conditions, for getting divorced.  If I deny my husbands accusations (grounds), he'd have to be ready to prove them by Ohio Rules of Evidence.  Isn't due process a fundamental right? (More)

Presently I'm confident that he can't prove any of these grounds, but I'm given the impression that the court presumes divorce and doesn't really care - that there is no recourse for saving my marriage. (More)  I've been told that the threshold for establishing grounds for divorce is so low that a wife can divorce her husband because he's grossly neglected his duty by not taking out the trash. A husband can divorce a wife for extreme cruelty because she told him, "Go to hell."   In Ohio, are people truly agreeing to divorce, or are people being mislead and ending up with a forced divorce for such frivolous reasons?  Was this the intention of the Ohio legislature - the governmental body responsible for instituting this set of rules?
 

When should the court determine if the grounds for divorce are met?
I don't want my family broken apart - I believe that with expert help our relationship can be repaired. ( More ) The court has the power to order this kind of help (§3105.09.1), but I was told the judge will not order it unless both parties agree to it - but in most cases, one of the spouses is resistant.  The law, however, has also established a conciliation process which gives judges authority to require the attendance of a resistant spouse. §3117 (More)  Why are judges resistant to offering to help reconcile troubled spouses?

Meanwhile, my husband hasn't proven there are grounds for divorce.   The court is ordering us to spend thousands of dollars on court-ordered professionals. I've felt very pressured to reach a "parenting agreement" which is nothing more than a court-order which dictates that my kids must be removed from their home part of the time.  When I asked what would happen if I refused to reach and agreement, I was warned the judge may order something worse.(More)

Is pressure put onto those in my situation because Ohio legislators don't want trial lawyers and the judges to have to prove grounds for divorce? (More)  Why are judges, trial lawyers, children's lawyers, psychologists, and mediators allowed to charge us so much money before anyone has even established whether my husband indeed has any grounds?
 

Moving out for a year can't earn a divorce, can it?
If my husband left us, I as the innocent spouse, could divorce him because of item (B) "Willful absence of the adverse party for one year," (§ 3105.01)  "Moving out," or leaving one's home, while one's spouse and children long for one's return has been a socially unacceptable behavior for years. In Ohio, this has been a legal ground for divorce for the innocent party for over 50 years: abandonment.

Though my husband may presently have no legal grounds for divorcing me, there is an implied impression that he can just wait one year and earn his divorce because of item (J) on the listed grounds for divorce - "On the application of either party, when husband and wife have, without interruption for one year lived separate and apart without cohabitation. "Does Ohio law intend to mean "de facto divorce" when one spouse abandons the family for one year. Why would anyone support such a cruel law?

To serve justice, and be consistent with the understanding that abandonment is considered wrong, item (J) should only apply to spouses who agree to live separately for one year.   If leaving one's spouse is denounced by item (B), it shouldn't be rewarded in item (J); should it? (More)

If legislators and fair-minded voters never intended for my husband to earn his divorce by abandoning us, something needs to be done quickly to help me and the hundreds - or thousands - of people in my situation.   I've been given the distinct impression that in my county, the court will give him a divorce in response to his act of abandoning the family.