St. Mary of Cana
Diocese Of PalermoCentre For Family Pastoral Care
Pastoral Support for Separated People
Who are Neither Remarried nor Living Together with Someone Else
Pastoral Year 2003-2004
Our aim is to live the vocation of our marriage by keeping the promise we made on our wedding day: that decision which right now shows itself in its most radical essence.
We have to consider that our marriage as a sacrament is not over but, on the contrary, is "alive": the faithful spouse then, if he/she is advised properly, can make it still effective by the renewal of the "I will", so that God's project should be realised.
The previuos seven meetings focused on issues related to marriage, in order to reconsider together the concept of couple and family according to God's project.
Seven reflections about marriage:
- Conjugal communion: Osea 2,16-18; Familiaris Consortio 19;
- Indissolubility of marital bound: Matteo 19, 3-9, F.C. 20;
- Procreation: Genesi 1, 26-28; F.C. 14;
- Education of the children: 2 Timoteo 1, 3-5; F.C. 38;
- Spirituality of the couple: Colossesi 3, 12-17; Tertulliano's reflection about the couple;
- Family missionary character: Matteo 28, 16-20; F.C. 54;
- The ultimate essence of marriage: Luca 20, 34-36.
The way consists in seven steps from the moment of the separation to the gift of oneself, and in details:
1) The separation - Accepting the Cross;
2) Rebirth - Trusting in God;
3) Desert - The place of the meeting with God;
4) The group - Walking together;
5) Reconciliation - Forgiving the other and oneself
6) The renewal of the "I will" - The mission of the sacrament;
7) The gift of oneself - Returning GodŐs love.
The way means to help separated people to become aware that they are still ministers of this sacrament, which is still "alive", and to renew spontaneously the marital commitment.
The seven-steps way has been submitted to the judgement of the General Vicar of the Diocese of Palermo, Archbishop Di Cristina, who approved.
At the end of the pastoral year, during a retreat, the marital commitment will be renewed in a rite prepared by Fr. P. Sorci, teacher of Liturgy at the Theological Faculty of Sicily.
Conjugal separation in the sacrament of marriage
St. Joseph Cottolengo Church, Palermo, Sicily
December 1999
Introduction
The sacrament of matrimony is not a human act of legalisation, but a vocation that a man and a woman are called to by God for His Church, "Christ's Bride" (Cathechismo Chiesa Cattolica Cap.III).
The conjugal union in the sacrament concerns the whole human being in all phisical, psychological, affective, and spiritual elements. Moreover the sacrament, by acting on the spiritual part, purifies the human elements from egotism. Only in this way does such union reveals itself as definitive mutual giving in faithfulness and fertility. (Cathechismo Chiesa Cattolica 1643).
The project of a human union, limited by a human horizon, if grafted on to God's project, is raised to the divine horizon. So a Christian couple has got characteristics and possibilities which are lacking in couples who are not united by the sacrament.
Indissolubility in the separation
If the sacramental union works on all the three human elements, phisical, psychological, and spiritual, we can try to give an answer to a question many people ask: "What is the meaning of speaking about the indissolubility of the sacrament since the spouses are now separated?"
The meaning is still the same, whether the couple is united or separated:
the sanctification of the spouse and mine.
If I am separated, but still want to keep faithful to the sacrament, by following a way of spiritual growth, do not I have the mission to pray for my spouse, altough he/she is following "other ways"? As a minister of this sacrament, am not I invested with a grace that is, I dare say, exclusive which comes from the Holy Spirit? (Gaudium et Spes).
If this is the case, then we can say that conjugal separation, when lived in the sacrament, is still self-giving, faithfulness, and fertility. (Cathechismo Chiesa Cattolica 1643).
- It is definitive self-giving because it is offered to the Father by the union in the Holy Spirit with Spouse Christ for the conversion of our partner.
- It is faithfulness to the marital covenant with God, when lived with the chastity we wish and ask as a gift to accept and keep.
- Fertility in the Holy Spirit is that testimony we give our family and the whole world: God keeps faithful to His covenant whereas man is idolater and faithless.
How many times, since Adam and Eve, did God renew His covenant with man, who keeps breaking it by his sins?
Still God never abandons His creature, He does not create another being and detroys Adam, He does not look for another people after the infidelity of Israel. God then reveals his merciful love (Familiaris Cconsortio 13).
I think that, even if in the separation "the wine is running short", nevertheless there is the presence both of Mary and Christ's.
If what has been said is the thruth, then we as the Church must help the separated spouses to follow this Way. That way is not an anachronistic command by the Church that we must follow with sorrow and resignation, but a way to sanctification we can live in the joyful paradox of the Gospel.
Maria Pia Campanella in Moscato
