by Marie
Mary's Advocates
Ohio Domestic Relations Court defendant

One may ask, against whom or what must we defend matrimony? There has been much publicity about defending matrimony against those who want to recognize same sex unions, but there is another force which, as of yet, is not being properly challenged. That challenge is divorce.

Pope John Paul II stated, "this fundamental institution [the family] is experiencing a radical and widespread crisis. In the Christian view of marriage, the relationship between a man and a woman — a mutual and total bond, unique and indissoluble — is part of God's original plan, obscured throughout history by our 'hardness of heart', but which Christ came to restore to its pristine splendor, disclosing what had been God's will 'from the beginning' (Mt 19:8). ...  On this point the Church cannot yield to cultural pressures, no matter how widespread and even militant they may be. Instead, it is necessary to ensure that ... Christian families show convincingly that it is possible to live marriage fully in keeping with God's plan and with the true good of the human person — of the spouses, and of the children who are more fragile." (Novo Millennio sec. 47)

Militant forces are attacking the indissolubility of matrimony. Militant, by definition, means aggressive or hostile in attitude or actions, especially in defense of a cause; waging war; fighting; warring; and showing a fighting disposition without self-seeking. These forces which insist that divorce is the natural solution to marital discord are not pretty. Defending against them is not a simple task.

However, as Christ's followers, we are also called to be a militant movement. Pope Paul VI explained, “[The Second Vatican Council] ratified and extended the contribution that, for more than a century, the movements of the Catholic laity have been offering to the Church, pilgrim and militant.” We all know that in the end, Christ's forces win, but in the meantime, some of us will be called to the front lines or to raise the battle banner and cry, "We Must Defend Matrimony from the Attacking Forces of Divorce!"

The ongoing battle against divorce has already begun, and unfortunately many Catholic Church tribunals are an enemy of marriage! Pope John Paul II corrected Tribunals for relying too much on "pastoral criteria" in making annulment decisions, and that "truth" was NOT one of the criteria being used by them.  He spoke of ascertaining the truth and cautioned against losing sight of the bounds of objective truth (See JPII 1/29/2004 Sec. 5-6). All of his addresses to the Tribunal of the Roman Rota are available at the Vatican website.

Those opposed to the indissolubility of marriage are attacking the institution of the family and therefore are simultaneously attacking the Ecclesia domestica, the domestic church (CCC 1655-1657).  All marriages are under attack because, by definition, marriage is indissoluble. It was not invented by secular, protestant, or religious institutions any more than the unalienable right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness were invented by the signers of the Declaration of Independence. Certain truths are self evident, originating from our Creator. Indissolubility of marriage, the institution for raising children, is one of them.

Many have specialized in different aspects of this struggle for years. To make this HUGE, complex struggle easier to understand, allow me to use an analogy as I introduce the protagonists. I suspect that most Catholics understand that abortion is an attack on life. The right to life is an unalienable right originating from our Creator. Abortion is a deliberate action with casualties: murdered babies, and wounded mothers. Pro-lifers are waging offensive and defensive battles against abortionists, pro-abortion educators, propagandists, lobbyists, political activists, and media professionals.

The pro-abortion movement's victories occur in abortion chambers. The pro-divorce movement's victories occur in domestic relations court chambers. Many of the pro-abortion forces' goals are achieved by Planned Parenthood; the pro-life force opposing Planned Parenthood is STOPP (Stop Planned Parenthood). Similarly, many of the pro-divorce forces' goals are achieved by the Family Law Department of the American Bar Association; one pro-marriage force trying to oppose them is Americans for Divorce Reform.

The National Abortion Rights Action League (NARAL) is fighting on many fronts; National Right to Life is trying to oppose them. In this country, the pro-divorce forces are profiting from divorce within a 250-billion dollar industry; one pro-marriage effort trying to minimize their damage is the Divorce Resource Center. Just as the Roe v. Wade decision was a tremendous victory for the pro-aborts, the Uniform Marriage and Divorce Act (1973) was a major victory for the pro-divorce movement. Just as roevwade.org exposes the truth regarding the major pro-abort legal victory, stolenvows.com is a pro-marriage effort to expose the tactics of the Uniform Marriage and Divorce Act, which was quite a stupendous legal maneuver.

Pro-abort forces try to work amongst baptized Catholics through Catholics for a Free Choice (CFFC); Priests for Life are amongst the pro-lifers countering that attack. One pro-divorce force working amongst Catholics is the Association for the Rights of Catholics in the Church. They propose that couples have the right to divorce and obtain a church annulment if their relationship isn't "symbolizing the union between Christ and the Church." If falling short of the goal, "to symbolize the union between Christ and the Church," justifies divorce and annulment, then no one has a valid marriage; all Catholics should get divorced because everyone falls short of the goal. Defending Holy Matrimony's (DHM) (See Documents and Mission) and the book, What God has joined together, the Annulment Crisis in American Catholicism, (See review) are both pro-marriage educational endeavors opposing such stark claims.

In the pro-life movement, the living victims of abortion have launched the National Silent No More Awareness Campaign to make the public aware of the devastation abortion brings to women, men, and their families. The pro-marriage group, Adult Children of Divorced Parents (ACODP) is trying to make the public aware of the devastating effects divorce has on its innocent bystanders, the children. ACODP attempts to heal battle wounds.

When a woman regrets being pregnant, pro-lifers try to rescue her from the pro-aborts by offering help through Crisis Pregnancy Centers. When couples are having marital discord, a growing number of pro-marriage groups, such as Marriage Savers, are available to rescue them from divorce. Pro-lifers also fight offensively through chastity education, while the pro-marriage educators work offensively by meeting at the annual Retrouvaille leadership Conference so they can help hurting couples near home.  Greg and Julie Alexander offer a renewed sense of hope and purpose for troubled couples through their work at the Alexander House.

And now Mary's Advocates has joined the ranks, inviting everyone to learn more about the problem and to educate those in a position to help.  Instigating a cultural shift is an immense task. However, those contemplating divorce have concluded divorce is the best solution to their marital problem, while our Creator promises a better solution of hope and reconciliation. Our culture ought to offer the same solution ESPECIALLY for the sake of the children who naturally want their mommy and daddy together. It is stunning at how the forces of divorce don't want to hear how clearly my children articulate their desire to have an intact home with two parents together.